Is it worth it?

I was in the middle of writing a story when I found out about the demise of a family member. That was nearly two weeks ago. Since then, I have been unable to return to that story, even with a submission deadline looming.

I could ascribe it to writer’s block. Or being far too busy, or far too grief stricken. But underneath that unwillingness to carry on writing, lies quite another beast. One that I find myself unable to name.

Is it doubt? All writers have their fair share of that. Is it ennui? There is certainly some of that within me, right now . But the overriding feeling is one of hopelessness. Why am I writing? What is the purpose here?Is anyone even reading what I write? And what do I hope to accomplish with my half baked stories and strange ramblings? Do I expect to become some kind of best selling novelist at my ripe age? Haha to that.

All human beings want to leave some kind of a mark on the world. Whether it is in the form of art or music or progeny or a business venture, there is always a yearning to be remembered. In the end, however, how many of us really are?

Death is a great leveller.

Right now, it is making me question all that I have felt was important or worthwhile. Will I come out the other end still writing? Only time will tell.

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Is it worth it?

  1. Writing runs through your very veins, it is in you …. to not express it would be to deny yourself the release of what you feel. To not share your thoughts would possibly deny someone out there in the ether, possibly not known to you, the opportunity to sense a shared emotion, the innate, intuitive response felt through the gift of eye-to-heart coordination that is reading.

    Without writing, reading is non-existent. Without reading, the possibility of learning, of growing, of being inspired, of feeling a connection is eroded, neglected, undeveloped …

    This world needs writers. This world needs you …

  2. Stay strong, time is a great healer. Take each day as it comes and soon you’ll get back to your writing the lovely stories. With love and support of your friends and family you will see through this tragic time. Looking forward to reading another of your stories and escaping the day to day mundane reality of life. X

  3. Darling P. Death barges in our lives, flips it upside down and then leaves us reeling. You are looking for order and rules and control in your life now. Life is so fragile, every action must have a purpose, a point, it must be worth it. So you ask “what is the point of my writing?”

    The thing is, you list “the point” as things that can be measured. “What will I accomplish?” “How many will read it” etc. “The point” of it is, well, there is no scientific, measureable point, sorry. You are a creative and watching my brother over these years has are me realise that you can no more control that side of you than you can try and start or stop a sneeze! You can’t force it to start, you can’t stop it. Don’t try and apply logic to your creativity, it just doesn’t work.

    You will write again. You can’t not. It would be like trying to tell your hair not to grow. That is the point of it. Just getting the words on the page and nothing more. The fact that we all love your work, and so do many others is just a lovely bonus:-).

  4. Perhaps the answer is to allow yourself some rest and when you are feeling a bit more together to see how it all feels? This is a hard time for all of you and your energies depleted with all the demands from outside and within. Lay low for now and emerge when ready? All my love and thoughts with you…kisses

  5. Thank you for all the love and encouragement. I plan to lie low for a bit. Writing has always been cathartic to me. But at a time like this I find myself unable to spin fictitious characters that mean anything. I hope things improve. I’m sure they will. Much love to all.x

  6. I love your honesty here. They say the first step to great writing is “tell the truth, tell the truth, tell the truth” – and I think you’ve got that. Every great inspiration comes in fits and starts so take some time off until the next thing demands to be written. It will come. Love to you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s